He Shames You Because He Thinks He is Always Right

The only time Dom would admit he was wrong is after all failed attempts to initiate the honeymoon period. Of course, this was just to build me up to tear me down. How I wish I would have seen that way back then! Most of the time he would not even admit to arguing with me, he just accused me of being crazy and would turn it all around on me and said I started it and he didn't know how to handle it, he was merely trying to teach me something, or making a point that I refused to listen to. He said it was I who was unfair. 

If I ever told him he was wrong he would get even angrier and use his most cruel version of verbal abuse. He would talk about me be a terrible mother. Of course, I know now that nothing could be further from the truth. Most times, it was easier to tell him he was right and to look at the floor. I felt so defeated when I just didn't have it in me to defend myself anymore. 

Once he felt victorious he would be angry for a while and we would sit in silence. Then he would cheer up, but he would remind me for the next day or two and that he was right. I would agree and continuously apologize. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to a mental abyss, and I could not shrink small enough. I knew I was right, but couldn't mention it. In order not to disagree with him, I would turn the shame inward. It was really toxic but I had no choice. 

I think what hurt the most he that he would quote Bible scripture and tell me that God says to obey my husband. I am a Christian and so because it does say this I would try to find a way to do this. Today I have a different view. I believe that God doesn't like to see divorce, but I am convinced that He absolutely hates abuse. 

Whatever your spiritual beliefs are, emotional abuse is wrong. Abuse like this leaves no physical scars, it is very hard to prove to a court, and the abuser turns every situation and everyone against you. BUT, you know it is wrong, you know deserve free will like everyone else, and you deserve to be loved. Men like this are worse for you than drinking poison. If you haven't left yet please make a safe plan to do so.