The only time Dom would admit he was wrong is after all failed attempts to initiate the honeymoon period. Of course, this was just to build me up to tear me down. How I wish I would have seen that way back then! Most of the time he would not even admit to arguing with me, he just accused me of being crazy and would turn it all around on me and said I started it and he didn't know how to handle it, he was merely trying to teach me something, or making a point that I refused to listen to. He said it was I who was unfair.
If I ever told him he was wrong he would get even angrier and use his most cruel version of verbal abuse. He would talk about me be a terrible mother. Of course, I know now that nothing could be further from the truth. Most times, it was easier to tell him he was right and to look at the floor. I felt so defeated when I just didn't have it in me to defend myself anymore.
Once he felt victorious he would be angry for a while and we would sit in silence. Then he would cheer up, but he would remind me for the next day or two and that he was right. I would agree and continuously apologize. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to a mental abyss, and I could not shrink small enough. I knew I was right, but couldn't mention it. In order not to disagree with him, I would turn the shame inward. It was really toxic but I had no choice.
I think what hurt the most he that he would quote Bible scripture and tell me that God says to obey my husband. I am a Christian and so because it does say this I would try to find a way to do this. Today I have a different view. I believe that God doesn't like to see divorce, but I am convinced that He absolutely hates abuse.
Whatever your spiritual beliefs are, emotional abuse is wrong. Abuse like this leaves no physical scars, it is very hard to prove to a court, and the abuser turns every situation and everyone against you. BUT, you know it is wrong, you know deserve free will like everyone else, and you deserve to be loved. Men like this are worse for you than drinking poison. If you haven't left yet please make a safe plan to do so.
Hello dear ones, thank you for meeting me back here on this page to read about my experience with an emotionally abusive husband. It has been three weeks and two days since I left, and it is bittersweet.
I still have times when I break down crying for what might have been if he had been genuine in love, and in my life. I am also finding freedom from so many things that left scars. The topic I am going to share with you today is one of those scars.
Before I met Dom, many many years ago I was a young woman with the world at her feet. I had graduated high school with good grades and was overjoyed that I was accepted into the university of my choice. For six long years, I worked very hard at earning a masters degree in business administration. I had dreams of being an owner of a local bookshop and connecting with my community through my love of books.
The year that I graduated is when I met him. We fell in love quickly and were married in under a year.He convinced me to take a year off after all of my hard work, and since he was ten years my senior he already had a business up and running and was more than able to take care of me. I agreed and loved him more for his willingness to let me be prepared before jumping into the business world. After the ring was on my finger the emotional abuse began.
He had not obtained a degree and had started a business without one. I was put down for spending all of that money and was told that I must be pretty stupid for needing a degree to do what he had already done. His famous line was "If you think that in this economy you can start a bookstore all by yourself, then you need a check up from the neck up." He broke my confidence and I never did open the little shop of my dreams.
Over time I began to feel stupid for having those dreams, and my confidence in myself was completely shattered. He knew this and this is when he started to correct me often, and he treated me like his child rather than his wife. This was his successful attempt to break me down and wear me like a shoe.
He made fun of me to his family for my needing such an expensive education, any comments or suggestions that I made that contradicted his personal opinion were dismissed as ridiculous. I began to feel as though he resented me for having to support me because he reminded me that I should be grateful for his income very often.
For fifteen years I felt like an unloved pet, and I was always crying and shaking. I wanted to make myself as small as possible to escape his control, teasing, bullying, and all kinds of other emotional abuse.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, or if any of this rings true to you please get out as soon as you can. If you are already gone then have no contact with him. Even if you have children there are people in your life, or in your community that are willing to communicate for the benefit of the children. You do not have to endure any more of this.
