They Use Teasing or Sarcasm to Put You Down

I have one particular memory that will stay with me forever. I had just finished washing the dishes after dinner when suddenly Dom turned to me and said "You forgot a spoon on the stove! Dishes do not wash themselves!" I told him to bugger off and that I had not meant to leave it there anyway. I should have known not to talk back that night. He told me I was out of control and attempted to call his brother. (Abusers are famous for trying to involve a third party to make you look just awful and they receive a very bias side of the story.) His brother was not home, but his 19 year old nephew Johnathan was there. Dom made it seem as though I was an out of control raving lunatic about him "just mentioning that there was still a spoon to wash." Naturally Jonathan was shocked by this story and when I decided to stick up for myself in the background, he used that as an example of how I was out of control. Although he would beg me never to leave he said "her ass can hit the road." He then started to make fun of me because I was crying by this point. He said I was emotionally unstable, he mentioned my autistic children implying that because I was so emotional I was a good mother. Dom thought his comments were quite amusing, and the teasing went on for hours in a sarcastic manner. He also mentioned that because I come from a poor neighborhood that I was "ghetto" and being the rich spoiled brat that Johnathan is he began laughing too. I know this because Dom put him on speakerphone so I could hear them both laughing at me. This is the type of behavior that if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship you will experience. They love to humiliate and make you feel small. This is the stage when they are at their worst, the very cruel stage before the false apologies, and I will change lies come out of their mouth. This happened back in February and I think about the pain it caused me almost everyday. Dear ones, if you are in a relationship like this please leave. Make a plan, save some money, or call a women's shelter and go. It will not get better and though they say they will change, and you do want to believe them because you have put all of your heart and soul into the relationship it is a facade. They are merely building you up so they have the sick pleasure of tearing you down again. Now that I am out of the relationship (it has been 8 days and I am hurting very badly) I have been researching emotional abusers and they are all the same! No one deserves to be run into the ground they way he did to me that night, and on many other occasions also. You deserve better! I am only starting to see this now, and my new found freedom makes me happy in between the tears of betrayal I feel. I am hoping to save someone else from this kind of pain, or to let you know that the longer you are in a relationship with these people they will not change. They don't love you, they are merely pretending that they do to feed a very sick ego. Goodnight lovelies, and please take care of yourself.