Dom (my now ex) and I were months into our relationship and he had never humiliated me in front of other people before. He did that only in private, but one night during an argument I decided to grab the keys and go for a ride. I had enough of him putting me down and I was out the door for a break from him. Suddenly he ran to the neighbors door and said "She took my keys to the car!" Needless to say I was so embarrassed. It was 11pm, he has woken her up and she stood there not knowing what to say. You think he would have turned around at this point realizing he had made a complete idiot of himself, but he went on to tell her that I was acting stupid all night long, and could she please do something to calm her down?
I was furious! She came into our house with us and said "What is going on guys?" He told her he was sick of me, I was a bad housekeeper, and I did nothing all day.
As he stood there waiting for her to feel sorry for him or something like pity her jaw dropped. She whispered to me that if I ever needed anything at all that she was right next door and left blushing with embarrassment.
This my friends is one incident of many, however, usually it is in front of his family who say nothing, look the other way, or are just like him towards their wives. It is an invisable scar I carry and every time the neighbor I think of that night. Why I am the one who feels ashamed? Well, he said I provoked it all, and I had been beaten down so badly mentally by then that I believed him.
These guys are addicted to toxic shame, and if their is an audience that they think will valiate him and make you feel more ashamed. They will do it.
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